Silent Scream

Why don't I die
I tell these lies
About life
I dont even know it
I'm scared of it
I can't even fake it
I can barely
Stop trembling from
Shame
At having to try so hard
At the game

Cold heart
Cold feet of dread
Mouthfuls of fright
Erupting as speech.

Don't believe a word
I say
I am trying too hard
To get a sense of my own meaning
Now those are the only true cards
I have dealt  upon the table

I don't think I even know
Why am I crying
I want someone to hug me
Tell me I'm alright.

I am a poem
That's lost  its beginning lines
And in the diary of  my
Mind
The haunting grounds are familiar
But the sacred spot is lost

This poem was not written
To please you
It's a scream
For what is forever
Lost
For what  I have
Forgot.
Help me
Help me help me out
Write my ending...
Coup de gras
Any old graceful
Exit out
Will do for me now

Shut this mouth
This wail
This pen that keeps
Screaming
Scratching it's trouble
Shrieking
Torturing
Painting
pain on paper

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014