To My Sons When They Are Men

To My Sons When They're Men

Dearest sweetest ones, hear my song and fall asleep

In the dark, my two eyes weep,

Tears know no bounds, and boundless leap

To express, to explain how I feel.

Sleep safe, knowing mamma loves you so,

I will love you my sons, always, eternally,

I loved you when your tiny lives begun,

And I will love you more the day I'm done.

I loved you with the rise of the morning sun

And I love you now that this day is done,

So sleep gentle in peace, beloved ones.

Sleep sound knowing that even should I be gone,

I will love you  from the last light of the setting sun

I will love you from blue haunts of ice-cold moon 

I swear upon my life,

Each star shall twinkle its sparkling flame

In their playfulness, I shall call out your names.

O  my little gentle doves

Mamma's eyes will look down through them

Locking her gaze with you in this, your world,

All a part of God's immortal games.

Still, remember me, hear me whisper, Luke, James. 

Even though I should be faded memory...

For I will love you from wherever I am gone

Flesh of my flesh, my very blood and bones,

My soul imbued in yours, love's holy dew

And if,

You cry out "My mamma, where are you?"

Nature's gentle voice will softly answer true,

Swear I your mother, the stones shall speak 

My love,

The skies shower my blessing from above,

The rain shed my tears, the clouds appear,

In shower shall dispel your fears and clear

All doubts. I live. 

Within you, and without.

Love storms eternally in our conjoined hearts

We can never, in essence truly part....

In the night when in darkness you cry

Your mamma will come to comfort you,

by and by.

She will become soft breeze against moonlit night

Its lightest touch will become my warm hug so tight,

We both shall see the headlights of dad's returning car,

Dance filigreed light pattern on your ceiling from afar.

Then indeed your mamma will shed her gentlest rain 

Her protective hands reach out to touch,

Her two little men.

She will try and try and trying hard, succeed,

Since wishful loving dreams, our reality seeds.

Benedictions send you dearest, in bracing winds

Each winking star now, your mom's best friend.

Just look up boys, grow brave, strong and tall,

Though forevermore my darling baby dolls,

Look up and see how infinite, how vast our skies,

To such high peaks aspire you always, to rise.

For finding mamma's love, O loving doves,

For making mamma proud, two eagles be, rise 

Above the crowd.

The tallest trees only kiss the sky my loves. 

They shelter all life, they harm no one.

Be like a tree, arms upraised in supplication 

To divinity, pouring benedictions on humanity.

My pretty turtle doves, mamma will sigh in winds

And breathe above. 

A rarer air most pure, called love.

Though never to see you as the men you become,

Not with physical eyes, my loving sons.

I refuse to lie, to appease, even claim in error

Yet I shall see you my boys, again

Through your very eyes, in your mirrors.

For they are my own...

Luke, to you did God my eyes bequeath.

Think my son, who also looks through them?

To see the beautiful world I had brought you to,

Darling boy, to that trust and legacy remain you true.

Josh, James, my brother and mother's near mirror image

Soft hearted, kind, mamma and papa's tender pet,

Smile like a star and you think that's only you?

Go, look to the mirror and see my love,

There's your mamma, she smiles back at you.

And so it goes, on and on it goes,

And so it went eternally, I suppose.

Comforting petals, of my nocturnes unfolding rose.

In its mysterious bloom, Death I delete and deny you. 

The heart of memory always beats in faith...

My lovely boys shall wipe all my absent tears,

One day they will know I was always there,

Comfort be, to each other, without fear,

we stay unbroken and whole,

Intact in those, who hold us dear and near.

So be it my loves, then, 

Be it ever so...

Even so, the song must be sung

Even if its singer, should go...

Live on to laugh, rise to life and love,

My babies, sleep now to my lullaby.

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© Amrita Valan Aug 8, 2014

This was brought out from my diaries, written 4 years back when my boys were babies I used to obsess over how much they meant to me and how they would fare without mamma's touch if fate took me away from them.