Forfeiture’s Dissolution
If I write terribly excuse me
My pain won't let me be
Inking my self-exorcism daily
Driving out demons I cannot see
I have to pen it....on pain of death
Everything melts away, softness
disintegrates face, eyes, tears, gaze
I cannot see, think clearly.
I haven't a backbone it seems I am
Invertebrate. Slimy feelings
Coordinate my articulation.
And they're not getting anywhere
They have dethroned my head,
Brain’s mush jelly abdicated in dread
Perhaps recognizing instinct of loving
As the greatest truth and duty
self-preservation has lost its simpler beauty.
My future is forfeiture, self-willed sacrifice
I am a lie I lead calling it life,
I the decisive link, weakness the abiding plot,
Theme of my chain of events...
And the plot is lost.
I wonder...
How much longer can this and I last?
The only answer my brain
murmurs inside
There isn't much else.
From now to nowhere
It's all getting over fast.
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©Amrita Valan 2014
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