Mistaken

Mistaken

My heart is crying incessantly
Today
Locked in a medieval monastery
Of silent pain
I am hurting inside these walls
of contemplating my mistakes.
Was I so very wrong? To seek my angel ?
To find you guardian ?
Was I  so very wrong with my  carriage to be myself placed in a house of sin.
To be beyond everything to be honest.
Here I'm only  alone...
Here I am not vivified.
Here I lie
But  never lie to myself..
If this
If this is untrue
Then it is late notice
My love
I have an empty chalice besides the tablet of my heart... a window  of wilderness cynically channelling through
to a desolate world lying in wait for me...
From now on...
It is late now.
my vesper chastisement begins...

And outside the rain falls  incessantly.

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014