Tussle

Keep me in my life
Keep me in my head
Keep me in my self
I don't need heart
If I have a head
If it knows it self
I can   make a life
A life
all of my own.

Oft repeated today
My hearts open prayer.

But the heart rebels
And murmurs
Keep me and be my keeper
Keep me and be my king
Keep me inside your own
My self make your throne

If this tussle isnt settled
If head and heart debate
My mouth and knees go weak
My heartbeat escalates

I think I need sedation
I think I need to sleep
At 4 am in the morning
The heart got up to weep.

If to walk away I'm shaky
If I'm going nowhere dear
How should, must I stay away
So far away is near.

I can hear the faithful summoned
The call of the mosque at dawn
The music of  man's heartbreaks
When God has   returned to stone.

And even if stone should  speak
From wilderness and storm
To monumental rhapsody
The return of my false form

The hardness of revival
The coldness of false faith
The tears of naive renewal
Is beyond my endurance.

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014