Secret Stash BCR

Forgive me Nigerian friends if I have over reached. My heart felt what it did.
 
Secret Stash

Good morning luck
Good luck good morning
Luckily I have been writing
to let you know
See you soon
When I see you
My friend doom upon
Me
For I am alive
Knowing  well
Perhaps
better I were  dead.

You cannot bring back
The girl I was.
The good girl
With my clean chalk
My lovely black slate
Gleaming
Fragile black glass.
My unknown innocence.

I will return prodigal
Though the sin
Was
Of the other.

Toast my memories
Own them for me please
I want to be remembered

What a good girl
What a beautiful morning
What a mother’s legacy
What a daddy’s prodigy
What a brother's sweet loving joy I was.

For you cannot bring me
back.
To myself.
The taunting flavors
of experience has
taught me.
School lessons shelved
I am on my knees to God
Erasing taints upon my soul
I am glowing
Growing
The past haunts but daunts me not.
I am daubed with global warmth
Colored with rainbows
Of many hearts
Praying in unison.

I hear .
Please help me compose-
For note that I am not.
In addition to the fact
that you can get me back,
Get back at them
Write my wails upon your wall
Release my tears
for their requests
I can hear.

Tell them
daddy and mommy
I
Stand tall
Head high
Look for your moonshine
For closure
Streaming in the sky
The course of screaming tears.
We are
night dreaming mares
Slivered shadows on the shivering moon
Undeliverable
Stashed secrets from sunlit seasons
Unbelievable
Emetic  Places under the floor of this empty empirical sky.
Unbearable
Forgive us
We cannot be written
We cannot die.

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014