Inner Need

I pray very little I think  one must depend on her self
Prayers are for inner strength not outer glory
We are all praying to ourselves
And I gently promise others
I'll keep them in my prayers
I'm  not a regular
I have found too little there

Let me pray dear god a little inner relief I should get
Let me find a way to pray
The problems to forget

The dear figurine  of the pieta
Clay chipped and worn in places
The black polished lingam of the Hindu Gods
Speak of men of many races

How shall I pray thee then
with "Om" or Amen
Tell me God are you for real
and do you  care so much
I think it rather vain

To expect you to hear
To expect us to post a prayer
The best I can achieve is inner peace
To myself my own soul bare

God lies in the gleam and winks
The lie between well and fall of
tears
God lies in between  drops unshed and the heart you hold too dear

If  one day I say to you
God is a needless ghost in the mind
If I say I worship the heart of heartbreak's dearest find

If I find my god cartwheeling  in between
The mood unsung and the deed undone
If God wears my patience down to a thread
Still the eye of the needle I seed alone

If when my heart bleeds
And dread rushes in
Desirous of claiming its stake
I steadfastly chant your name my God
And the name of my Rose is not fake

(For devil  your victory is too terribly cheap
And I have cleansed myself in the tears I weep)

There's so much there  there's not much more
There are so many but not one more
There's a balance a measure for every treasure
There is a nugget of truth at every deceptions core....

So on my own and in my inner sanctum
I tore down the edifice of church  temple or mosque
Built a sanctum sanctorum of my flesh meshed blood and bones
And I called upon your name  o friendly soul
And I worshipping the foul did not fear
And
I forsook every noble ignoble goal
Happily I worshipped my lot drawn long ago
Silenced death by the hour too dear.

All rights reserved
(c) Amrita Valan 2014