Burial

I am screaming oh god these are not tears my brain is in meltdown fried to cinders
Help me breathe I want to break this down to simple doable pieces
I want you to know me and like what you know.
I compose  my despised compost of emotions
And see it lying
Garbage piled outside the door.

And I think i plead don't see the ugly futile words
See just my ideas please
I have no options left
You are a scream in my ugly brain
And it's not even dying down

It's going to take me down with it in a death song
Monsters laughing at my distress signals my hapless elegies
There's no sugar in my words
My brain dead from glucose exhaustion
reeling through deadly coasts
Of rock precipices of precision piercing again and again  the  shipwreck of my
soul .

I am writing floating my
Trash around to disgusting displays
The last remains
Of the survivor who knows no shame
But drowns integrity and honor
Clasping  the caress of the name..
And you.
Hate it so.
My lifeline my octopus ink is
Squalid to you.
you don't have to douse yourself in my  haemhoerage
There are writers of endearments

I  am just the trashy refuse
Going out the gate.....
The oil  spill that sleeks the troubled ocean
Kills the fish instead.
I am in  hate with myself  
and I wish to bury me dead
With the deadly devotion
I am skilled at
A bridesmaid of my hate. .

 

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014