Hatred

Hatred

I am Sinking into a reduction of my being
To become primary in nature.
All the subtleties all the sophistry all the layers of my sorbet self has mixed.
The palette is muddied.
I have drawn blank
The canvas of life 
Charcoal black as  charlatan night
And a single bleak
Battle ship
rogue rocket
gunmetal grey
Glints through space
Slicing it white
like prayer's trail.

I am so far gone
So far undone.
I am at the final frontier
And at every stage
One more attachment
detaches itself from
The mother ship
And falls off
Till,
I'm atavistic amputee
Cadaver capsule
Prurient projectile
Ejected
From the mouth of divine venom
Extirpated into ether
Either
To oblivion
or vindication.

I am at the peripherals
Of a new unknown horizon
Which may reject me in
A ball of fire
At
Its elastic event horrizon
And send me screaming
In metallic streaks of mercy.
An everyday black hole dilemma.

I hope then at last
my hatred
will be satiated
siphoned off
In the hellfire of my myriad masonic destruction.

If I survive
It will be
A rough landing
Upon somnolent soil
In a strange land..

There
I will sing my new glory
Never my love-hate story
An anthem catapulting through anarchic quadrants at warped entropic speeds
Slivering through worm holes
Which destabilized every notion
Every concept
Of me.

Cutting losses rough angular edges
Losing control creating covert spaces
In cavernous creases
Expanding momentum
Freeing delineations of definitions
Discarding overt hard covers
Lovingly lusciously lasciviously
Loose binding me.

I will be freed from
Self hatred
And align my lonely loveliness
In dust stormed dunes of soulless silences
Under ocular necrotic  moons

I will be the  simplest of affinities
I will be the perfection zero
Rounded up corners
A holistic entity......
No identity
No enemities
Eternal emission
Energized velocity
Pure and free.
I will find my salvation
As
Light to Light
Ashes to ashes
Dust to  dust
Spaces in divine absences .
Thus
I will be a cosmic
singularity
Alone and able
My own deity
Of ecclesiastical sang froid
An ecstatic
God in an ebullient void?

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014