Addiction Contradiction and Saccharine

I am blogging after a whole year but I have been writing all along by the way in old diaries and scraps of paper and now I am ready.To blog on..

I have been to Tamil Nadu and back, started aptly on Halloween, and returned on Kali puja. Baba had come down with a lung infection hence the quick return,  Anto had work to finish in nagerkoil, which had to be abandoned. At my parents for more than 2 months now.  Leaving this weekend. So this blog can be a mental marker.
What is the Kangaroo without the horse, bleats Navjot Singh Siddhu on TV while I am attempting to blog, he is very irritating with his endless vague similes, really besides the point he is  trying to make, which in his case is cricket.
I shall quote the one good thing on TV today, an ad that went:
pray for the things you want, ------
BUT work for the things you need. Left those fine work ethics behind long ago, so now let me rant on about the stuff I have the eternal gall to still want and need.


like a wooden doll Like an undulating pendulum
i rock I am  your cheap car toy
and your absent pat is the affection
not bestowed
yet that i crave.

stark life, strange lies
world emptied
like the quintillionth cup of coffee or tea
blinking back with a bland blank face.
stir and sip it slurps your pain
Smirks right back at you.

loneliest distillate
and bitterest beverage.

heart full of neglect
shining thick and glazed like sludge on cheap porcelain cup
chipped cracked through the heart.

but still going strong
Good for just one more cup
a tad bitter
a shade strong
and somehow all too too
wrong,
sweet but with a bitter aftertaste
yet my heart has got addicted
to your bloodless
loveless' leverage

addiction is a beverage.
So
dark and strong.

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014