The Fast

Th Fast

Fifth november was my brother's marriage anniversary.
I was more awed by the fact that it was Guy Fawkes day in U.K. About this I reminded my parents to ask my well travelled bro when they rang him up to wish him. On second thoughts the sentimental cancerian in biley, my bro, might consider any parallels between the gunpowder plot and his wedding day insulting.So dear bro, no comparisions intended.

I have been staying with my parents on and off since 30 sep, which was Maha Ashthami,or the eighth day of the 10 day Durga Puja Festivities.

On 30th, enroute to Salt Lake from Fortune City,my parents took me to my cousins, bonnie and bobby. We had samosas, posed for bonnie's camera phone, presented my kid sisters with some of my choicest   dresses. A rather tight  squeeze for me now. Plus these  two sisters of mine were really turning out to be very pretty and very intelligent.
Consider it  my Puja  good deed.

Now on  the 1st of October my parents had an obnoxious visitor to their flat, who while barely 7 years older than me , by virtue of an early marriage to a neighbour, was called "aunty" by me.
I had been introduced to her when I was in college, so I found it mildly  irritating that she attempted to talk to me as if I were 6 yrs old. To add injury to insult this well meaning lady started using a very personal and offensive nickname for me, which only my parents and big bro were ever allowed to use.

Why I blew it I never will know, probably because my dad could jokingly have advised "Aunty" to call me by my formal, and infinitely more pleasant name, or perhaps because she had butted into our small crowded kitchen where baba and I were experimenting with a coconut dresssing for a fish dish and it was not coming out too well.

Excuses,excuses.I was prepared to be conciliatory when "Aunty", advised baba that next time she will call on him and come, and I icily asked her if that was to find out if his daughter was at home or not. since all I had done so far was purse my lips and grumble my discontent in a muted tone to my Baba, I could scarcely see why after offending me, she should choose to take umbrage.
So instead, I did, and I equally obnoxiously  advised her that as Baba and I kept the same company, if she was put off by mine there really was no need for her to take his cell no.

Well, after that "aunty" departed in high dudgeon,advising me that I was mentally "sick." Well vice versa.

Next being an excitable  quarrelsome creature, (really what  was I thinking those days!), I  had this almighty scene with my father, where I asked him if like saturn he had to be the baleful planet that drew such malignant people into the orbit of his family and friends.

My father who is overly relegious took my comment with extreme hurt, as for us Hindus, Saturn, the arbiter of fate,is such a feared deity, that those who do worship him, never do so at home but always in a public temple.

I am a bit of a sceptic, so all I meant was to use the kind of word weapon dad understood, to indicate his daughter was dead serious about how offensive she found some of the company he kept.

Well after this I really did feel mental, so I missed breakfast, lunch tea, et all.
The husband arrived and persuaded us to all sit at the dinner table together for a meal.Lucky for us, as dad and mom too had not been able to take much more than tea,toast and biscuits while their daughter was on a hunger strike to register both her protest and hurt.

The reason for writing this entire sequence of events is to show that while I am not really mental, how close we all come to being that way at times, and how unkindly calling a person "sick" can actually make her react like a sicko...

On fourth november I was calmly sickened by a fact,a fact that this blog will not reveal.
However much I wish to feel relief by blogging it out of my system.

To go back ,to O ct 17th, my birthday...This was not a good year for my birthday to be,and lets leave it at that for now. I have no words for what has been happening since 31st july.Lets see how it all turns out and maybe next year I shall write about this time of my life.
Or maybe a decade later.This is the 2014 me reading my 2006 self.And I am still not  ready.

Suffice it to say on oct 18 I moved to Naiya Patti,which is 15 min from my parents place,and houses my bro's tiny self sufficient flat.Baba wanted me to run it for a few days and give it a semblance of order,as it lies neglected while my bro is elsewhere in the world. Once a month dad opens it up and cleans it,but we felt by staying a weekend we could get more done.

Sure, like a battle or two and a whole lot of thinking and writing and cleaning.
I think the whole fourth november obsession started in Naiya Patti.

hey! I can't write here anymore -not now at least- its 12:12 a.m./ I should wrap up now,do some house work, go to bed.
Hah!2006 self, boy you were lazy  a mental basket case.
Care for meto   complete your incomplete ravings ?
On  second thoughts, I have got housework to do too!

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014