One Cold Dark Afternoon. ...

Wednesday is original writing day. Thought I will submit a short piece written 7-8 years back....

One Cold Dark Afternoon. ...

I am well fed and well onto my way to feeling sleepy.

Sitting in The Ant's(my husband Anto), countryside office blogging on one of his computers I am content if not supremely happy.

Wafting in through the window is the sound of soft incessant rainfall and a ferociously cold breeze married to a plaintive folk song --"O Friend- take me in and find me a place if not in your heart, at your feet" the singer wails and croons repeatedly, into the cold darkness...

My eyes fill with tears, the sensuous simplicity of his longing seduces me with the wealth of unsatiated love.

Love is such a well of deep dark desires till you draw it up into sunlight's crystal clarity.

I am reminded of Juliet's simple vow to Romeo, "..all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay and follow thee lord to the ends of the earth/world.."
True love is that selfless. That devoted humbled and accepting.No questions asked. With no room for ego or jealousy.  And without those two worthies betrayal or petty  misunderstanding cannot exist.
World and Wealth and comfort forsaken for they were less comforting than the adored presence.

Touched by this love one is purified as if by holy sacrament or a  baptism by sacred fire. The truest highest worth is gleaned out of the soul and the rest remains inconsequential.

True love cannot be unrequited because it does not depend on  response  in order to love.It is powered by its own dynamo. The answers are to be found in the echoes of one's own heart.

And so the brave baul (folk singer), sings  heart meltingly, in joyous triumphant grief "if not in thy heart, Lord/(love), at thy feet at least. ."

And so a gentle indomitable Mira Bai could live on to love an unresponsive silent Lord Krishna. In her mind and heart she was already one with him.
And in ancient India too hindu women who could not accept as  husband any other man except the object of their unreturned affections, would put vermilion on their foreheads in open declaration.  Symbolizing their wilful permanent union with the man they had selected as husband. Inside their hearts and not outside.
This was their decision to love without expecting love's return. To seek another in all fairness would've been impossible.
Besotted soaking in humbled love for a person and bereft of pride ...what a journey to self discovery!
Fatal attraction with its balls and chains love syndrome it was not.

My mind felt curiously happy and aeons lighter.For a moment I could imagine an almost similar surrender a glow in my heart a feeling of surveying from mountain tops and  skies the love of my life. The destined man it was my  fated mission to love protect and yes, without reservations, to worship.

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(c) Amrita Valan 2014