The dirty aesthetic pigs have turned the gleaming tiled, American style open kitchen chummery, into a “slummery.” Or not to be nasty – a “slumbery.”
Piles of bedding, bed sheets, bedcovers and pillows denuded of their cases lie on the 2
otherwise decent single beds. The solitary chair in the room has several curtains covered by another bedspread on it. Up on top of the wardrobe are scores more curtains. In fact, curtains are everywhere excepting on the doors and windows.
One favored window has been partially draped with a white tasseled tablecloth.
The study table has a name, “Khushi,” or Joy. I know this is the name of the owner’s
daughter. A cute child, who I remember as barely reaching the height of our dining table when I last saw her, but who indomitably, still stretched her hand strenuously for cucumber slices from the tabletop. In fact cucumber and cashew nuts was mostly all she ate for lunch that day.
Khushi / Joy has a brother, named “Nirman” or Construction, who is now about 8, while she I think is about 3. Construction with joy makes a sweet pair, with a wonderful mother and father…(whose names are a little more difficult to play with, or I would.)
Nirman used to be called his father, sourabh’s latest “laptop,” when he was born, by Upal and Probir. I used to be a part of Aesthetic Technologies back then, though never a dirty pig, and I remember he was born on 14 April 1998, the same year Poonam’s little girl, “Vinny,” was born.
And that was also the year when Upal married Gargi, (an impressive figure with lovely eyes.) That was on 3rd February 1998, coincidentally my first day of work at Aesthetic.
I was a Production Executive hopeful of graduating to programming but my husband-to-be who was the head programmer told me politely that I was “limited as a programmer.”
I had big plans and mortified that I was at best good for copying, cutting and pasting for
Programmers and designers, I did not tarry but I fled…though now I wish sometimes
I had not left, as slow though I was I could steadily have learnt to make myself useful;
Sourabh is that kind of a boss, with a space for everyone.
Though here the husband, who I call The ant, begs to differ. He thinks that while Aesthetic does have tolerance and space for people like me, unpredictable daydreamers,
People who really have an edge, and can be smart, original go-getters are the only ones who succeed in its environs.
Well past history, and rehashed to death many times, so let me move on.
It is far pleasanter to stick with the chummery. I am fairly sure someone has thrown up in the bedroom in the honor of my arrival, the room reeks and so does the bathroom. Then there is that big damp patch on the small mat by the bed.
I venture to the main room, there is a big dining table but it has a waxy unclean look. The kitchen’s clean, but once again the 2 kitchen rags draped over the gas oven are like small sized curtains. The floors are a shiny white.
I have not yet ventured to the third room. Curious though. Have peeked inside. It is empty and unfurnished, filled with strange gadgets, and broken machine parts, and dim and shadowy.
And here at this point I mark my departure from real life and my flight into fantasy.
“What if the 3rd room is a portal to an alternate universe, a doorway to a different dimension, where pink bubblegum blossoms on treetops, apples and Kangaroos
are mass-produced in factories, and fishes marry birds and rule over water and sky.
Frogs rule over the land and remain forever upset at the birds, (mistresses of the skies), for intermarrying with fishes.
“Look at me, what was wrong with me as your suitor, you could have helped me rule over water, sky and land – but no, you had to go and marry with a little fish…Don’t tell me you never heard the adage, a fish and a bird can marry, but where will they build their nest?
Now, you and I, we could have booked a nice condo on land, a penthouse suite from which you could fly off on your heavenly missions, while I took to the water tanks and the downward slide by pipes to the nearest water body, lake, river or sea. And every now and then we could have touched base in our “castle in the air” condominium.
So the frog croaked cattily.
Meanwhile what was the cat doing?
Well, what they always do, in any given dimension.
“Miaow, Miaow, Miaow, - Milk is wow, - I want some now, - but miaow, miaow, How?”
“Miaow” is actually an attempt to say “Ciaow” which is a cat word for “cow>”
And the Purr –Prrrrr…actually.
Purring is how they describe their appreciation of fish products. So when they come up and purr against humans, all they mean is – “Thanks frrrr the fish I stole today, Yourrrr kitchen window was open, The fish was frrrreshh—It’s an open and shut case!”
So when you bend down to pat kitty, give her a smack instead.
On our way to Aesthetic, in its latest incarnation, (No disrespect intended, but like the Durga Puja pandal, the Aesthetic is dismantled every year and relocated to a newer more impressive location with great fanfare), a small wiry dog crossed our path. As it was a canine crossover and not a feline one I did not beg the ant to stop.
The dog gave us a filthy sideways look, as if to say, “ I know, I know, I don’t pull any weight and no heavy superstition has been hitched to my tail. I know, bow, wow, woe…
I don’t cut any ice, find no fear in your eyes, I know I cannot scare the pants of an ant and his wife! – Tcchah! What can I say? This is a dog’s life!”
Mr. And Mrs. Ant, oblivious speeded away, and the dog was, well doggone.
The ant revved up even more, which scared me into anti-ant screeches- which made moi ant positively zoom…moral of the story in mangled French, - “ Don’t mess with your ant, Ma tante!”
An anthem for my ant:
An ant is from antiquity
No antidote is there
For ant bite
And no tenzing has ever
Planted a flag
On an anthill.
Anteaters are
Confused by their antics
And serve them right.
I suppose once an intrepid ant had
Eloped
With a darling deer
And henceforth their children were known as
Antelopes
Antimony is a strong poison, and Antennae are what we need to know what
These devilish ants are up to.
…An ant coveted the arctic, so he founded Antarctica as the arctic region was already taken.
Ever seen an ant caught in a time warp?
Visit Antwerp,
An ant never turns his back on you,
Hence the term, “anterior,”
As opposed to posterior.
Here ends my anthem, and no this does not mean
An ant letting down the hemline of his skirt…
My dictionary definition of “Anthem”-“ant them – or those of us who live with
Ants, become ants like them….
All rights reserved
(c) Amrita Valan 2014
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