Take me in

To write
You need must wield a pen
Shower ink from mind
As clear as rain
Where will I
Find my music then?

For sodden
Sorrows cloud my heart
A vital need to write
But no heart to start
How can I touch you
Make you feel my part?

Can I show you
Through Instagram
Upload a video
Of my bleeding brain?
Can I show you how
Sanity denuded my soul
Would you shudder and pause
And swipe the screen
To wipe away the unseemly stain
Perhaps my revolting pain
Should remain unseen?

Take my angel hair
Plucked out from this demonic sink
Of a thousand thoughts
That gurgling overflows the brink

Each a string to pluck
Upon my heart.
Pushing sanity
With each beat
And start.

I pull out bunches
With bloodied nails
Spiritually in my coccyx dwell
I cannot rise
Shall my poem
Be the stuff
Of lies?

Or the haunted lizard's
Fallen tail
An omen potent
Enough to fail
And yet release
The life Within
A flick and swish
A dying wish

I'm a woman
Who would brush
Off fate
Yet court destiny
By hell's deathless gates
Can I convince
Despite my countless sins
I'm as pure and free
And deserve to be
An entrant
Through the pearly gates
Just as much
As those spotless angels
Who're all going in.

This makes no sense
This text too dense
My soul in a seance
My mind the lens
That flares the paper
Where are written
The timeless dares
Truth eschewed
For glamorous food

Brooding upon the
Dark side
My hypnosis is
Near complete

I am listless lost and hovering
Will you still understand
And let me in?

Naked upon the rocking chair
Of fate
I am swinging past the pearly gates
Take me in my unholy state
For I have confessed
Exposed myself.

(c) Amrita Valan 2017