Big Fat Dream

I am a poet who morphs into her subject.  I have to be true to my heart. How I truly feel.  I admit I could be limited in my views or understanding. But never insincere.

Big Fat Dream

I will beat this baby
This raw pink
plaything called life
I'm the ultimate suave player
All jazzed up
To survive.

I'm getting on with the game
Getting ahead
I will earn me some instant fame
Work double shifts at
Movie halls and restaurants.

College at night
Burn the candle bright
Frayed nerves
Toasted telomeres
At both ends

And just so you know
I got the degree too
But big brother was
Watching,
Told me
I need to set some folks free
Fight the little man's fight.

Since then
No more classes at night.
Conscription then training
Programmed for enlightenment
Now I believe
Might is right.

I will enlist
And land on
The little man's shore
In the name of defending
Them
I will do so much more.

Rage rage rage
Invincibility undressed
Torture tear and rape
I will lose my soul instead.

Kill kill kill the killers
Kill kill kill the believers
For the holy oil
Baptise my soul
With foreign blood
On fried foreign soil.

Bring me back home
Lucky if I'm whole

But the hole in my heart
Will never go away
The wholesome American boy
You sent away
Is all grown up
A shadowy Jekyll and Hyde man
So Cross my path
And hope to die
Catch me
If you can.

They say I have a disorder.
Post traumatic stress.
Tatooed across my chest
I have my highschool
sweet heart's name.

Kelly married the big boss man's son
Tired of waiting for one who's gone
Running on empty
For yet another
Dead end country.

He
Who owned those chains of restaurants
While I shackled my soul to
Uncle Sam
To earn me some fame.

Big fat American dream
Go back from where you came
Big fat American dream
No safe word for your lies
Your twisted contorted games.

Amen
For I have eaten your manna
In vermilion deserts  with no name
And I have watched so much
Blood being shed
Wine tasting by another name.

Now I'm back
Vampire seeking vengeance
I'm back
here's a deathless stench
To my nights for
I cannot sleep in the dark

The moon of doom
brings out my fangs
I cannot forget the little people
Who could not fight
Nor understand the sides
Their demonic plight
Forced them to align
Like I couldn't ever understand
How  greed and gluttony
Fear and mistrust
Combined with profit
Makes sense
And sends Lambs out
For slaughtering
Pretending righteous innocence.

(c) Amrita Valan 2017.