I Am BCR

I Am....

I am. ...torn
My tendons and ligaments of faith
Outstretched
Tender swollen
Within me is an outpouring
Dammed.
The seals...allow closure
The cracks allow memory
To relive heart hollowing
Moments
When I couldn't even ask myself
My selfishness
To offer resistance.

I am...
So happy simmering in a bubbly pool of sunshining happiness
A gladness for warmth
A just right feeling
Listening to the music of
Child talk...
Crescendos of joy rising innocence
Raised into wilderness

I am...
Vaccilations
Between necessary and real
The Reality is that I am leading this life....
Livid with fears...timidly following footsteps of expectations.
Necessity is Neverland hopes
And dreams
That won't die
Unless I go along with them
Taking me at the flood
Of my expectations
Of my own
Self.

One life.
On the floor of wayward emotions
I die.

One life.
Towards the ceilinged glass of frozen truth-
I stare
At lies.

One life.
I cannot lie.

Not on this sinking bed of beottted bottled up love
Not on the static truth that you command

I see beyond, the neat border lines of truth are wavering
Sunlight in  the cracks
the lintels shake
the cornices crumbling

Walls are burning
To let light in

I am...
A body of sustainence.
A sustained cell...
A vessel of my own deliverance
In mysterious containment. ..
Choosing to let go
A certainty

That I alone
Am me.

Holding on to
A truth Invisible
Invitations
To an
Unknown me.

I am...
A glowing sigh in the libertine breeze
Weaving wistfully through
exotic leaves of faraway trees
A chanson
Sung by sunflowers in fields of glee
Saluting Troubadours marching
In wilful opposition
To marionettes of fate

I am quintessence of infinite nonchalance
Making
Stretching
Marking
Its own eternity. ..

I am...
Hopeful caring prayer...
Unashamed remorseful apology
I do my own damage control
and recovery
Everyday daring fate and snatching love out of its clutch dressed in grace and honesty.

All rights reserved
(c) Amrita Valan 2014

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