I will not be able
To rest my burning head
Oh how I crave
To let you know
I am not the walking
dead
I live
But
I will never learn, no never
To be complete in solitude.
I can't be alone with mhyself.
I am company.
I carry a circus, It tents in my head.
The fools and magicians inside scream for dominance.
shredded by reality daily
To garbage
my myriad dreams are like miracles searching for their salvation.
I seek your baptism
By love
But you are just not there
My world stumbles on uneven sidewalks paved with crosses
Your broad smooth Boulevards
do not conjunct with mine.
One thousand nights
A thousand tales of
Solitude
And the lonely mirages it spells
One thousand dreams
Of you
Only shatter in secret ways
You have bereaved me.
I have lost you. I miss my identity.
I have forgotten my path.
Pride is just a mask I wear to survive.
All I want is for you to ask
me into your life.
I am certain to cry never sure why I feel this way.
You are my only atavistic hope of survival.
Baptist of hearts make this my day!
O Stop! turn, stay
Make me so lucky
Smile
like I am a prize
You won at the fair
A tattered teddy button eyed
That you wouldn't give away!
I will be sad a thousand nights more
For
I will never have my way.
The past echoing
Ringing bells
Of madness in my harlequin heart
You would
serenade me on the phone
(You did but it was a jest)
woo me crazy (kneel on your knees) with roses
But it wasn't honest
on main street you carried me over a puddle
I submitted without a fight
My troubadour your gallantries
made me write poetry all night.
Typed me love letters like I were your week old bride
Called me the sweetest
Prettiest girl alive.
Two steps behind you
I always will be
kiss me on the forehead
Like you think the world of me
Touch my arms as if you longed to be by my side
There I have said it
The mask has no pride.
The future into its cobwebs flies
Some poems get put on ice
Maybe a thousand years hence
Come a couple just like us
To see through our pretence.
All rights reserved
(c) Amrita Valan 2014

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